sex… a taboo?

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Gone are the days where sex is merely an act of procreation. In recent weeks, I’ve had some serious thought about sex, what it is, reasons we do it and the old taboos and perceptions that are carried along with it. I had come to a dilemma as I am recently single and didn’t like not having the sexual attention and affection that comes along with being in a relationship.  However, enjoying the single life, I found it difficult to meet those needs, with out being, well, promiscuous. After an in-depth conversation with a dear friend, I was given the advice “Lexi, sex these days is just as common as picking your nose.” This obviously led to deep thoughts, research and investigations.

Lets get technical for a little bit… Perceptions are created through a very complicated process, where by the 20million bits of information that is handed to us every second is deleted, distorted and generalized through internal filters. These filters, are (mostly) created through unconscious conditioning and programing from a very early age, and change slightly as we grow. This is how our reality is created and also how perception is created. Think of it like this, ask your Year 3 teacher how she feels about having sex with different men; or perhaps ask your grandmother how she feels about sex before marriage. Then go ahead and ask the counter staff at Supré the same questions. Guaranteed, you will receive totally different answers and reasoning’s. Which is why, sex, which was once a conversation not to be had at the dinner table, is now something that is spoken about freely at the office coffee machine, at the gym or at high-tea with the ladies.

Some profound guidance my grandmother once gave me was “anything in moderation is good for you” …so long as you bring balloons to your party to practice safe sex and (of course) stay classy!

With every journey down any road, we come across roadblocks, potholes and detours. So here are some tips to make your single life ‘ride’ smoother;

LADIES; ALWAYS, ALWAYS, STAY CLASSY. REMEMBER TOO, THERE IS NOTHING SEXIER THEN A CONFIDENT, INDEPENDENT WOMAN.

• Men love it when you take control in the bedroom, but you also need to take control of those emotions – saying that, we ladies are naturally an emotional bunch, that’s what makes us such wonderful creatures, just keep that tiger in its cage when needed.

• Learn the language of sex, if it feels good, tell him, but there’s no need to talk about what you did once in the bedroom with ‘some other guy’, they hate that, as far as they’re concerned, they’re your first.

• Ladies, don’t be upset if all they want to do is sleep after sex, it’s actually not there fault! Keep reading to find out why…

MEN; IT IS THE AGE OF THE GENTLEMEN ONCE AGAIN. OPENING DOORS AND PULLING OUT CHAIRS, IS STEAMING HOT!

• It’s a common misconception that men are the only rulers in the bedroom, so when your lady (gets out of her comfort zone) and takes the reigns, give her encouragement.

• Saying that, there is nothing sexier then being taken by a man, seduced by a warrior and swept of our feet. In fact, as a man, it is all but your duty to be this sexy, manly knight that makes us ladies feel feminine, safe and sexy. The safer we feel, the more feminine and open we’ll be.

• Ever wondered why you always want to sleep post-sex? (Ladies listen up!) Among many other chemicals, Prolactin is released into almost everyone’s bloodstream immediately after an orgasm. This chemical disengages you from sexual thoughts and feelings, allowing you to think of other things (probably the only moment in a day when you men are not thinking about sex!). Endorphins are released also, post sex. Some give you the feelings of euphoria, pleasure, calmness and deep relaxation. It’s been said that the faster you fall asleep, the better the sex, so ladies, take their dozing as a compliment and men – you’ve just been handed a get out of jail free card – it’s just your endorphins at work!

Sex – we do it for many reasons and one in particular sticks out for me, because it feels good. Just because Grandma has trouble seeing eye-to-eye with us on that one, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t think it. Sex incorporates so much of our mind; in fact, most of sex is actually in our imagination. Our mind is a beautifully complicated ‘machine’ that is unlimited in its potential and power. My advice; get educated; learn about the mind, the body, and sex, don’t be ashamed that you enjoy sex and like doing it often – you’re not the only one.

Love Lexi xx

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